Re-birth

Looking back at my previous posts, mostly seems so sad and depressing. And I only blog when I am down. Feeling kinda pathetic now because I only write about sad and bad memories and nothing about the happy times. I wouldn't want to remember my uni life like this. There are plenty of moments that are more worth cherishing. I could share my happy times. After all, there is a balance between up and down in life. Why just focus on one? Haha. Easier said than down. I am usually not in the mood to write when I am happy and problem-free. Or rather focus on doing other things than sitting down in front of the computer and blog =p. Let's just see how it goes. So, have been abandoning this blog long enough. Time to start kicking again. A brand new year, final year of uni. There's a lot to be done in 2008!!

Believe

Everyone have their own beliefs. Be it about religion, after-life, future or anything. Some believe there is God and others choose to be free thinker. Some believe in UFO, aliens, creatures in other planets or ghost. Some believe in modern medicine and others in traditional medicine. Some believe that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Some believe that in not taking anything too personally. Some believe that.... Everyone have their rights to believe in whatever that they want. It may be scientifically explained or it may not. It may be logical or not. It may not convience others to believe in the same way. Whatever it is, it is up to that person. So, respect other people's believe. Don't make fun of it, don't try to condemn it. If we cant make sense out of what other people believe, then just let it be. Don't try to convience them otherwise. The beliefs are something that people hold onto. Something to keep them going. Having said that, there is exceptional for everything. If one believe that ending their life or giving up hope is the best for them, of course you will not respect and let them do it. This is when you do have to convience them that there is a bright side of life. Their mind will be clouded by negative thoughts, that their believe is a danger to them. Sometimes is kinda hard to hold onto our own beliefs especially when things are going in the opposite direction. But do not let go of it. It is better to have something to grab hole off rather than nothing.

Heart vs. Mind

Heart vs mind. Do you listen to your heart or your mind more? Which one do you based on when you make a decision?

Our mind always tell us what should be done and what should be avoided. It weights the pros and cons (like a yellow legal pad =P) and based our decision on which has the better consequences. A person who listen to their mind more will act in a more proper manner. One will avoid (if possible) any actions that will cause problems. One will act in a way that will often leads to better outcomes, be it in the near future or far ahead.

Listening to your heart often leads to doing something that you feel like doing. It might not be appropriate but that is what you feel like doing. And hence, you just go ahead, doing it without worrying too much about the consequences. It is following your natural instinct.

There is often many situations where your heart tells you to do one thing but your mind tells the opposite. We will often be in a dilemma on whether to follow our mind or our heart. Our mind is usually right, keeping us out of trouble. But our heart is what we want, is something that we enjoy doing and willing to sacrifice for. So which one do you choose to follow? What we want isn't exactly the best for us. We might be enjoying it now but it won't last. It sometimes could turn out worst.

Alcohol is the best example. People are willing to spend heaps of money on it, enjoying the effects, enabling one to forgot about all the problems in life. Despite knowing the consequences that alcohol has on human health, people are still not bothered by it.

And sometimes we know we shouldn't and that's exactly why we do it. Humans are just complicating.

Sometimes I get so frustrated as not to know which one to follow. My mind or my heart. I have made mistakes by just following my heart, mistakes that my mind would have stopped me. I also have allowed my mind that over shadowed my heart. I do it because it is supposed to be done and not based on what I want.

It is kinda hard to pin point it out clearly but I guess it depends a lot on the situation you are in. Sometimes you follow your heart and others your mind. Nevertheless, sometimes you gotta balance both, what you want and what you should.

I'm back

Yohoo. I am back. Taking almost a month break from blogging. To concentrate on my studies and exams (yeah right? =P). Nothing is being changed. Everything still look the same. More and more people are making their blog private. They have their own reasonings. A lot of thoughts and opinions are not being expressed as they afraid they might step over the line. There are many unforseen consequences that could arise from blogging. It doesn't provide total freedom in writing. It isn't a private diary. Yes, one owns the blog and he/she can write anything one wants. Nonetheless, there is always a limit for everything. So yeah I am back. I will continue blogging when I am in the mood. Sharing some moments, expressing some thoughts. But none for now. One more week of exam to go!!

Mood swings

Mood swings. Everyone has their own mood swings, due to different reasons, at different place, on different timing. I do realize that my mood swings are quite fast and high. One thing for sure, it is not a PMS syndrome. More like a seasonal thingy as I do not experience it on a monthly basis =P. It is more prevalence when I am not well and exam time. I am able to acknowledge and I do have to do something about it. I am learning. I am learning to handle it better, to not let things affecting me easily. Ignorance is bliss right? That is something I find very hard to learn. I do admire people who are able to careless about things, nothing gets in their way and just be happy. Which individual in this world who doesn't want to be happy right? I guess, for me I feel that if you can be ignorant about something, it means that you don't really care about it. I suppose that is why I take a lot of things seriously. I know do not make other people's problem your problem. I guess it wouldn't bother you too much but just try to help much as possible. Everyone needs a helping hand every now and then. I guess I was kinda upset for being punished for not being ignorant. Is not like I have done something bad, nothing really except for showimg my 'black, moody' face quite frequently nowadays =P. I felt like the good things that I have done is of no use. It sort of making me lose hope on the good things. That was my lowest moment. But I guess, everytime you fall, at some point you cant go any lower. You just gotta climb back up again. You gotta be strong at this stage to overcome any obstacles and get back to the top again. I was so pissed off one night and lots of thoughts were running in my head. I got very tired and is driving me nuts until I got to a point that I just let everything go. Knowing myself, I might not have learn everything from it. Everyone knows it not easy to change oneself. Instead of changing, I guess is better to learn to adjust to it first. What a friend once told me is very true. Knowing the kind of person I am, if I force myself not to care, I wont feel any better. I might just start to feel guilty then. Haha. I know I am complicating. So neither way is a solution. I just gotta live with it. Just do what my heart feels like doing, what makes me happy and most importantly having no regrets about it after.

Words speak louder than actions

Ironic isn't it that many people usually speak louder than their actions. But I guess this is what a normal human being usually does. They could show so much concerns by asking and asking, pastering other people but at the end of the day, no one actually wants to take up the responsibility. No one wants to stand up and take action. No one wants to be the leader and lead everyone. Everyone just pushes the responsibility around until someone, the one who has the highest obligation has to take up the responsibility. I reckon people usually doesn't care as much as they sound. All that is being done is just caring a little and then walk away. For certain people I guess that is the very much they'll do. Or I guess the relationship is not that close as they claim to be? Is it just me or this is just the way it how it suppose to be? Wouldn't it be unfair that people just wanna have fun but not wanting to do the work? I guess it comes down to some people just dont care as much. If that is the case, then dont speak as loud. If you want to speak then act on it. Haha. I am just confusing people and playing with words again. I just say what I wanna say.

Why

Why

is it so difficult for me

to understand

to accept

.

Why

despite so many incidences

and obviousness

I still don't get it

.

Why

am I stubborn

and refuse to acknowledge

.

Why

don't I learn

and listen to advice

.

Why

do I keep doing this

to myself

and to others

.

Why

.

Because I care??