Unstable condition

Being saturated with uni work, it would be nice if I can get some concern and love. It is just that being so stress, having to push myself to the limit and not having anyone I can rely on is seriously affecting me. After spending the whole entire day in library, I am not looking forward to go back to my house. It doesn't make a different, no matter where I am, I still feel lonely. Not feeling any concern from anyone, be it near or far. I know I put up depressing nickname on MSN but that is explaining my current condition. I guess people just ignore it, not caring and once even a friend said I just want some attention. Yes, obviously I do because I am not feeling alright. I wanna talk to someone, at least then I will realize that there is people out there caring about it. I know there are people out there for me but when I am all messed and screwed up, I can't think that way because I am not feeling it. I need to feel it, not just knowing it. It was good then once upon a time, a friend actually took my nicknames seriously and tried to comfort me, almost everynight for being emo. I felt better knowing someone was actually standing by my side. But things changes. The friend can't be there for me all the time. Not blaming you. And I guess, the more I expect from the people around me, the more dissapointed I get. I am always lost, needing some emotional support. I know some of you are busy with your own life, having you own personal issues, not expecting anything from you. I can't help but to feel jealous towards some people who has support and care from everywhere. It makes me wonder why am I not feeling it. No one knows when I am sick nor have I eaten the whole day nor the times that I broke down. There is always some other incidence overwhelming my little suffering. I can't help but to wonder if I were to go missing one day, will anyone notice it? Of course my parents will but I dont call them everyday. I am just not in the right state of mind to be positive now. Is not that I enjoy being all sad, depressing and stress out, but I just can't help it. No one to cheer me up, makes it even more difficult to be happy. Because it has always been me gathering some strength, walk out and be cheerful again. This time will be a very tough one. Nevertheless, in times like this, you will experience more surprises. Getting unexpected comforting words from unexpected people puts some light to this life.