A note from me

Dear friends, Thanks for all the concerns. I know I can really count on you. You guys came forward immediately after reading my previous post. Calling me, smsing me or msging me. Hear me whine about all my work despite you being busy with your stuff as well. Although I still have to do it after but at least I felt much better. I wish I can just whine about it and it will go away by itself. But unfortunately this is not how the world works. Booo. I know that you will always be there for me but it is difficult when we are not together. Blaming it on the distance across the sea and states. Haha. I can really count on some to cheer me up and laugh again. So if I am all happy in front of you, that doesn't mean I am pretending to be happy and hiding all my worries. It just mean that I am enjoying myself at that moment, not letting the worries get to me. I know it all; things will get better, I will get through it, happiness is in my own hands, etc. All the things that you guys do or say will only make me feel better temporary and in the end is all up to me. I know, I get it but I am not in it yet. I am still searching for a direction. Hopefully the path will light up soon but until then I am sorry if I offend or ignore anyone. (Although I say sorry easily, it doesn't mean I don't mean it). I still don't know what to do or how to react at some instances. I may still be angry and trying not to expect much from others. Trying to accept and learn about this world. Is tough but lastly is still me to myself. And to those who do not know who to react, you can keep on pretending like nothing happen or whatever. I am mad but I am trying to be more understanding. Hopefully I am not giving you such a hard time. All in all, I am not 100% alright now. Expecting a lot of down moments still to happen. Just trying to live one day at a time. One step at a time.